El Dorado rant

SPOILER ALERT!!! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE'NT READ EL DORADO!!!

I literally don't know what I adore more about this book ...

The fact that Percy connived a French guard to shave him so his wife wouldn't have to kiss whiskers when she visited him in prison ... or the fact that he throws a freaking putter mug at Chauvelin's face (I may have screamed) ... or the fact that Armand was the biggest little CRAP on the face of this world and Percy STILL trusts him with the love his life ...

Oh. Yea. 

OR, AFTER BEING BEAT TO A BLOODY PULP AND HIS ARM BEING PULLED OUT OF JOINT,  PERCY ACTUALLY GOES MORE THAN 16 DAYS WITHOUT HARDLY ANY SLEEP OR FOOD, RIDES IN A COACH FOR 3 DAYS TIED HAND AND FOOT, AND STILL MANAGES TO KNOCK OUT HIS HULKING OAF OF A JAILOR, PRETEND TO BE HIM AND DRIVE A COACH TO RESUCE HIS WIFE AND HER LITTLE FRENCH BAGUETTE-BRAIN OF A BROTHER, THEN SWEEPS HER OFF HER FEET AND BACK TO THE DAY DREAM AND OFF TO ENGLAND, GAAAADDDZOOKS! 

ALL, after saving the boy prince of France from the temple ... WHICH, the dude who had all the money of Austria at his disposal, COULD'NT. EVEN. DO.

And *ahem* Armand actually told him he didn't know how to love. 

HE SAID HE DID'NT. KNOW. HOW. TO. LOVE. 

HORRIFIED. HORRIFIED!! I COULDN'T CLOSE MY MOUTH FOR A FULL 5 MINUTES.

And Percy just admits he doesn't. HE DOESNT?!  WHAT?!?! After leaving his wife, HIS LOVE, for months (actually at the end of the series it's about 2 years since he returned from France), no thought of how much he may have wanted to just stay and be safe with her at his beautiful house, but kept on for her country and people who weren't his?! After he legit lets himself get beat stupid so he knows she's fine?!?! 

AND HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO LOVE?!?!  

Love, right there, kids.

*rolls up sleeves* 

Armand St. Just, get ready for my fisted vengeance in thy freaking French face!!!!! 

(Kidding, major jerkface but the poor guy was in love, sooooooo... Yea I'm still mad at him)

AND the whole time, England thinks he's a stupid, sassy fashion diva, while he's sneaking aristos out of legitimate hell. And he's ok and chill with that because... 

HONOR. 

Sir Percy Blakeney, for all ya'll who haven't read the books. READ THEM. Imagine him just snapping in Z formation cuz ... He's got it all. 

I rest my case.

Thank you and good night. 

(... and don't even get me started on Marguerite!!!)